Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday

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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Great morning

I tripped and dropped here oof

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yikes pic.twitter.com/QpABP6Cb0Z

Ã&penny;€” Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) January 14, 2020

I’m so.

Cheers and Jeers starts beneath the fold… [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Be aware: I admit it. I’ve a major alcohol issue. I’m with difficulty this morning, prying the cap with my teeth off the tight. Go ahead without me, I’ll catch up.

By the Numbers:

Brickfair2020Birmingham.jpg
3 days!!!

Days ’til Brexit: 16

Days’til the BrickFair Lego Festival at Birmingham, Alabama: 3

Percent of Americans who desire the wealthy taxed more”to pay for public programs,” according to a Reuters-Ipsos poll: 64 percent

Length of Americans who support going to war with Iran, according to a new Quinnipiac poll: 26%

Number of consecutive years the rate of cancer at the U.S. has diminished: 25

Date by which Tesla topped $500 a share 1/13/20

Particles of fog Necessary to fill out a tsp, according to the internet

Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (including 3 globalisms and 1 root canal performed by Dr. Jesus Christ, DDS).  Soul Protection Factor 24 cream is recommended if you’now, ll be walking among the heathen.

Puppy Pic of the Day: You…you did sign the pre-nup, right?

CHEERS to cleaning House. Today’s the day. A historical moment of epluribus unuming, Annuit cœptising, also –[double-checks back of dollar bill]–rampant Novus ordo secloruming.

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A liberty cylinder on its way to the Senate.

Now the House of Representatives will march the twin articles of impeachment against President Donald J. Trump to the prestigious lower chamber atop a Roman defense carried by means of a half dozen off-duty WWE titans, whereupon their extradition to the Senate will probably be voted by the august body. If approved, white smoke will look in the smokestack and the document will be secured within a”freedom cylinder” and placed in the Ted Stevens Memorial Tangled-Up Pneumatic Tube, that will proceed”Thoop!!!” And send it flying out from a hole at the Senate chamber wall and may God have mercy on anyone who appears to be in its route.  (That’s the way we lost Robert Byrd.)  We pause to ask as we anticipate the president rsquo; s destiny: how did Nancy Pelosi fare by holding on the articles a little more than is permissible in polite beltway-bubble society?

Nancy Pelosi gambled and lost on the impeachment delay

Chris Cillizza, CNN

Nancy Pelosi gamed the impeachment trial

Henry Olsen, Washington Post

Glad we cleared that up. And , in case you missed it, signs by Giuliani stooge Lev Parnas was published by the House Intelligence Committee. That is…. .interesting:

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If you’re just joining us: on the eve of a Senate impeachment trial, we’re now hoping to parse out that among the president’s associates might have been involved in a potential assassination threat from a U.S. ambassador who wasn’t playing ball with them. https://t.co/DoinI4Dnb1

Ã&penny;€” Hunter (@HunterDK) January 14, 2020

We’re longing na need a bigger impeachment.

CHEERS to a sexy period in a chilly city. Six candidates squared off in last night’s Democratic debate in Des Moines that, if you think”the experts,” is situated in a country known as”Iowa.” (My reality checkers will get on that right after they finish their walnuts on the porch roof) Here are the highlights, from memory, of this showdown prior to the February 3rd caucuses, starring Pete, Elizabeth, Amy, Tom, Bernie, and Joe:

Point! Counterpoint! Sharp elbow! Rhetorical judo chop! Retort sure to go viral on Twitter! Crosstalk! On that we could all agree, points! “You stated X! ”  “No, I said Y, but you said Z! ”  This is the reason why folks tune out! Let us change the topic! Why? It was just getting good! More crosstalk! [Buttigieg spits out teeth]

(Commercial break)

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This disagreement sponsored by Brad’s Bunting, 305 Husker Street, Des Moines. Call for an estimate!

Welcome back. Sock! Pow!  Go for the jugular! Pile on the chief! More crosstalk! Explain your whole climate, healthcare, and international diplomacy programs in hellip & 90 seconds;Go!  Now it’s no time for closing arguments we reside in a wonderful country and should you vote for me I won’t even let down you thank you and god mention.

[Moments later, Tulsi Gabbard wins Matt Drudge’s online poll]

I really don’t want to stick my thumb but later last night I’ve definitely narrowed down my pick to November.  Now I’m dividing up toward the Democrat.

CHEERS to the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Today is your civic rights titan’s 91st birthday. He was born within this Atlanta home at 501 Auburn Avenue NE, a visit to that was a highlight of our trip to Netroots Nation a Couple of Years ago:

Martin Luther King birthplace and boyhood home in Atlanta. August 11, 2017
If you stroll a block to the best you’ll come to King’s grave , and down only a little further Ebenezer Baptist Church where he preached.

These words appear to be laser-targeted in the oaf in charge, who starts his third year in office following Monday, which is–spoiler alert–Martin Luther King Jr.. Day:

“Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.”

And my annual information for my fellow Americans, slightly adapted from King’s:”Judge me on the content of my character, not the underwear on my head.”   I’m guessing youall’ll spend a second year not finding that you helpful.

JEERS to getting it wrong. . .again. Ya gotta love”the experts.”   Their predictions so often have to be downgraded to”worse than expected.”   The consequence of the GOP tax cuts to the wealthy:”worse than expected.”   Their opioid-addiction numbers:”worse than expected.”   The impact of humans on animal species across the world:”worse than expected.” The Trump presidency: “worse than just worse than anticipated. ” (Still awaiting that rally, pundits–the afternoon he “actually becomes president. ”-RRB- And now, here are two more you can throw on the pile: the latest unemployment figures are worse than expected, and also climate crisis events are worse than expected.   This can mean just 1 thing: we will need to employ improved expecters.

CHEERS to helpful notices.   For Those Who Have health insurance through the exchange, here is something we have yesterday courtesy of the Federal Ministry of Death Panels:

Keep an eye on your email in the coming months!   In the event you or anyone in your family registered in a health program via the Health Insurance Marketplace at 2019, you’ll get Form 1095-A–Health Insurance Marketplace Statement.

380238 03: Pediatrician Wilma Bausas examines Jonathan Valdez, 2, during his visit to the Centro de Salud Familiar La Fe, Inc. health clinic October 14, 2000 in El Paso, Texas. Texas ranks second to last (49th out of 50 states) in the nation in the percentage of children without health insurance. About 1.4 million children in Texas are uninsured. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Newsmakers)
“How in the HELL did your dad manage to build a model boat in there? ” 

The 1095-A offers information that you ’ll must complete your Federal income tax returns. Keep it with your tax documents, like the W-2 you get from your organization.   And later this month, then you can even get a copy of your 1095-A by logging in to your Marketplace account on HealthCare.gov.

They also say you can go to healthcare.gov/taxes for more information. For example, everyone who completes and returns their earnings with no errors will be given a coupon redeemable for tossing one grandma with no copay off a cliff. As always–Thank you, Obama!

CHEERS to the ‘Miracle on the Hudson.’   A hundred and fifty five airline passengers obtained a jolt twenty five years ago now when al Qaeda-trained birds, each was guaranteed 72 virgin girls in Paradise, flew themselves to the motors of Flight 1549 as it took off from LaGuardia, making it crippled without a way to help keep it aloft.   To give you an Concept of the freakish nature of the event, as well as the skill of now-living-legend pilot Chesley Sullenberger in landing the craft, consider this:

“This is only the fourth time in the jet era” that pilots have intentionally set an airliner in water,” said Todd Curtis, a former Boeing security engineer who runs the AirSafe.com website.

Airbus  A320 that was landed in the Hudson River on January 15, 2009 by Pilot Chesley Sullenberger
The Miraculous Airbus is currently on display in the Carolinas Aviation Museum at Charlotte.

“Sully” doesn’t have formal plans to mark the event, but he’ll likely say a few words.   Nothing ready, really.   He will just wing it.

Ten years ago in C&J: January 15, 2010

CHEERS to altering our birth certificate.   Cool fresh discovery in Poland indicates we made the transition”from fin to foot” quicker than originally thought*:

A group led by tetrapod expert Per Ahlberg of Uppsala University, Sweden, report in the British journal Nature the finding of a dozen identifying”hand” and”foot” prints by a creature that dwelt around 395 million decades ago. This usually means they are older than the oldest tetrapod fossils found 10 million years earlier, and however than the first known elpistostegids 18 million years. …

The uncover blows off all thought from the water because it suggests that tetrapods emerged much earlier than has been previously believed. … The prints”force a radical reassessment of the timing, ecology and environmental setting of the fish-tetrapod transition, as well as the completeness of the body fossil record,” says the study.

*The hyperlink for this RedOrbit.com article is no longer reside. It’s kept in amber for eternity in the heaving archival bosom of all C&J.

Fascinating fact: up the evolutionary chain on their way their extremities’d be acquired by them to the point where they could wave in the creationists on their way upward.

And only one more…

CHEERS to our new digs (pending rental contract signing). But humanity, but we’ve now screwed our world so bad that the seas have shrunk to the point of no return, rather than even an army of Greta Thunberg’s armed with magic wands to make all of the fossil fuel businesses around the world disappear in a minute could do anything about that. In a different century it’s only gonna be cockroaches, swarms of jellyfish, also leftover Twinkies ‘round here. But if that seems like a downer, here is good news! We all need to do is develop escape pods which will travel 4.5 million kilometers per moment in suburban comfort so we can start over again in this sweet little newly-discovered patch of property located near a”quiet star”: 

When scientists hunt for alien planets, they get a thrill when they find one which appears to reflect back our own world to us. TOI 700 d is the member of that elite club.

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For Sale. (To the highest-bidding fracker, needless to say.)

The world was found courtesy of NASA’s Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite,or TESS, as among 3 worlds at a distant solar system. Unlike its neighbors–and the vast majority of planets scientists have discovered thus far–it appears to be about exactly the identical size as Earth and to orbit its star at a distance that would allow water to stay liquid. The discovery has been first declared hereon Jan. 6 in the 235th meeting of the American Astronomical Society. […]

[T]he TOI 700 models look reassuring. “None of them went into a runaway greenhouse effect,” [Universities Space Research Association visiting research assistant Gabrielle] Engelmann-Suissa stated. “In no simulation that we studied did the ocean evaporate, which is cool, that’s a good sign.” She added that the average temperatures ranged radically, but not outside the boundaries of what scientists could imagine hardy life withstanding. 

There ya go, children. We’ve saved you. We trust you will name your new house Boomer World. We’re honored.

Have a happy humpday. Floor’s open. . .What are you cheering and jeering about today?

Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

Houston Astros Manager and GM Receive Historic One Year Bans out of Cheers and Jeers to Their Roles in Kiddie Pool Stealing Scandal

Mediaite

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